This year, as the 25th anniversary of the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks has approached, I've thought about why this tragedy affects me so deeply. I didn't know anyone who died in the attacks. The closest I came was a firm in the towers that my brother and his business partner worked with, remotely: their office was on one of the floors directly hit by a plane.
Every year at this time I go in search of stories that I haven't yet read or seen, whether they be in print or on video. I comb the internet, almost obsessively, for stones I have left unturned. I have a need to know all of the stories, and each year, I always find more that are new to me.
This month one of the highlights that I found was "Voices and heroes of the 9/11 flights," from the History Channel, which was released five years ago, for the 20th anniversary of the attacks. The near-90-minute documentary follows each of the four fated flights on that day, from before takeoff to their ends. With interviews from the family and friends of those who lost their lives, the personalities of the passengers are illuminated, and their stories woven together. With recordings of phone calls and radio dispatch transmissions, and with drawings, what unfolded on each flight, and how, was laid out painfully clearly.
There was the woman who lost both her father, who was on United Flight 11, and her best friend, who was working in the north tower, which 11 crashed into. The recordings of the hijackers talking to passengers on the intercom of the various flights was chilling. It was heart-wrenching to hear the the sounds of the passengers of Flight 93, as they beat on the cockpit door, and the hijackers of that flight, praising Allah as they purposefully crashed the plane into the ground.
The story of Asia Cottem, on the plane that crashed into the Pentagon, is now living in my head. Asia, 11 years old, and two other students were on their way to California with three of their teachers for an extended science field trip. Her parents Michelle and Clifton were each interviewed about their beloved "book nerd" girl, and they detailed their night before the flight, the trip to the airport and the goodbye. Just a short time later, both parents heard that a plane had crashed into the Pentagon, and each immediately understood what had happened.
"I knew it in my heart, she was gone," Clifton Cottem said.
The interviews with the victims' family members were honest and raw. Often, the speaker would chronicle the most painful details with a matter-of-fact manner that reflected how much processing of loss they had worked through. In other cases, the storyteller's face wouldn't change much, but tears would start leaking from their eyes.
"Sorry," several of them said to the interviewer.
Some of the voice messages that victims left for family members were chilling, because they didn't sound emotional, though they were expressing their love. Maybe they were trying to sound strong, to give their loved ones comfort. We will never know. But one man's last words to his partner, "I'll see you when you get here," have stayed with her ever since. I certainly understand why.
Random facts I learned this year:
- Only the FBI and family members have been allowed to hear some cabin and cockpit recordings.
- The Cottems founded the Asia SiVon Cottem Memorial Scholarship Fund to help students pursue higher education in STEM fields. They still receive thousands of dollars each year.
The 25 years since the 9/11 attacks seems like just yesterday, and one million years ago, at the same time. For those of us who lived through this tragedy and its aftermath, the effects will always be with us. They will reverberate throughout time. We will never get over it.
And maybe that's why I go searching for stories every year. So many people were affected by this tragedy, from families and friends to firefighters to witnesses, and so many more. It has made an energetic imprint in time, its effects continuing to emanate outward, like a wave. I will probably keep unearthing new perspectives and stories for the rest of my life.
This week, 2,977 drones were sent into the sky in New York, making outlines of the two towers. There was one light for each life lost. This beautiful effort seemed to touch the hearts of all. We will carry it forth as we continue to honor the fallen not just on Sept. 11, but every day.
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